Spoilers alert!

I decided to write this post because it suddenly dawned on me that I’m really miffed about someone ruining a crucial plot point in Skyfall which I haven’t watched yet. It got me thinking how RUDE it is when people do that! This isn’t the first time this has happened to me. Someone also ruined the ending of Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man’s Chest. It really wrecks the experience! So this is a plaint on how it sucks when people dish out spoilers and also a letter to these Spoiler Spewing individuals to STOP!

I’ll be honest, I’m not innocent in this aspect. I’ve done my fair share of spilling spoilers. But I’ve  tried to never outrightly state spoilers, I tell someone something only if they say they want to know it. Mostly, I love letting people experience the shock and awe of the moment and THEN discuss it with them. One time, I went so far as to tell a friend of mine the opposite of what happens in a show because she just needed to experience it and be caught off-guard like I was the first time I watched the episode.

The worst thing about people who dish out spoilers – they do it like they’re talking about the weather or stating very ordinary and mundane facts. When in reality the Spoilee’s mind is in a total whirlwind, going through a paradigm shift. I know that sounds excessively dramatic, but think about it, it is dramatic because as a Spoilee, you’ll never be able to look at that tarnished material with the innocence that comes from not knowing!

THEN, there’s the faux sorry which is just pathetic. You can see that they don’t mean it, they’re just saying it because they know that’s what social protocol calls for.  I think it should be a rule that if you’re going to talk about something which has a twist you need to make sure everyone in the conversation is aware of that twist before you go blabbing about it. Of course this rule doesn’t have to apply when someone just joins a conversation or has declared their lack of interest in the said topic. Yes, then, by all means, go ahead and say whatever you want.

One more rule I’d like to apply is – if a friend, who knows you fairly well, ruins a plot for you and that person knows you haven’t seen the movie/read the book AND you have expressed interest in said movie/book, you should be allowed to:

a) Ruin five movies/books that they want to watch/read; or

b) Punch them in the face; or

c) Slap them 3 times.

So to you people who intentionally drop spoilers and don’t really feel sorry about it, put yourself in the Spoilee’s shoes! Think of a movie or book you really enjoyed. If someone came along and told you – “oh! this is what happens” or “I cannot believe that guy turned out to be the murderer” or “Isn’t it crazy that they decided to kill that person?” – all this BEFORE you actually found out what happens, wouldn’t YOU hate it and hate that person?! The journey is always more fun than the destination, so don’t go around driving people to a destination before they’ve been able to take in all the sights and experiences that they want to take in!

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