All Apologies

I know I haven’t posted in a really long time, and honestly I wanted to write a post on my 10 favourite moments of the FIFA World Cup, but now that’s old news. Anyway, I’m in a hurry, so I just wanted to share this poem which fell out of a book I was selling (I’m so happy it showed itself) and I loved it, plus I want to show my reader(s) that I’m still here!

Here it is:

We will begin with a box

and the plural is boxes

But the plural of ox

should be oxen, not oxes

Then one fowl is goose,

but two are called geese;

Yet the plural of moose

should never be meese!

You may find a lone mouse

or a whole lot of mice,

But the plural of house

is houses, not hice!

If the plural of man

is always men,

Why shouldn’t the plural of pan

be called pen

If cow in the plural maybe cows or kine,

But the plural of vow is vows not vine.

If I speak of a foot

and you show me feet,

But I give you a boot,

would a pair be called a beet?

If one is a tooth,

and a whole set are teeth,

Why should not the plural of booth,

be called beeth?

If the singular is this

and the plural be called these,

Then one may be that

and three maybe those,

Yet the plural of hat

would never be hose;

We speak of a brother

and also of breathren,

But though we say mother,

we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns

are he, his and him

But imagine the feminine

as she, shis and shim!

So our English,

I think you’ll agree,

Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

– Anonymous


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